As you might notice from my first post, I don’t take very kindly to labels of any kind. In fact, even the label which identifies me as an individual who…does…not…like…labels…..doesn’t really agree with me. I use it at times for the purposes of getting to a point quickly, but in truth, it’s about as useful to say it out loud as it is to announce that I am an American.
That said, in our world today, you can pretty much divide people into roughly two categories: those who are usually secure in themselves…and those who usually aren’t. Because the issue of stability and personal security is not just confined to those who grew up overseas or spent a lifetime moving repeatedly, I find it to be necessary to address regardless of who you are or where you’re ‘from’.
Yes, I grew up overseas. Yes, my family provided me with the only culture I’ve really retained across continents. Yes, things might have been ‘tougher’ for me in some ways than a child growing up in their home country.
But the fact remains, we are all subjected to life circumstances and situations which can seriously undermine our ability to stay upright when the waves come crashing in. Is it necessary to understand ‘why’ you are weak? Why you are incapable of staying in one place more than a year? Why you derive your security from others? Why you feel lost most of the time? Why you stubbornly refuse to give up an abusive relationship? Why you constantly doubt yourself and your sanity? Why you cling so unerringly to a family who rejects you at every turn?
I believe it does matter to know why. Because to identify a symptom only means you know there is something unbalanced. You must identify the root of an issue in order to treat the cause of the imbalance. Once you understand the cause, you may begin to rectify the case.
I’d love to hear from you guys. What do you think has been the cause of your insecurities? Was yours a dysfunctional family? Did you feel lost in a culture you did not understand after you moved back to your ‘home’ country? Did you spend most of your growing up years living in a ‘created reality’ that shielded you from real life? Did a highly religious background cause you to doubt yourself and your motives daily?
Whatever the reason, I think it’s important to identify whatever it is…it may be multiple things. It may be one.
I would like to clarify that I am in no way encouraging this so that we can find something or someone to blame. Indeed, it is important to identify..to analyze..to understand. Only then can we forgive, forget and move forward into the light of day.
If you have blocked much of your childhood, there is a reason. I guarantee you.
You have a choice. You may leave the past buried and move forward without ever facing it. Or you may decide to understand the past so you can learn from it. It’s up to you.
I decided to face mine. It has not been easy and it was not fun. 3 years into the process, I find that my mind is finally clear and I feel no bitterness towards any of my ‘why’s’ any longer.
I’m ready to move on. Are you?
Lost in Words 